Evolution on an Axis

We are cresting. I have felt the Earth sync into place these last couple of days. It is as if, though moving slowly, organically, subtly and sphere like, we have suddenly and immediately entered a new phase and arc in the sky on this part of the planet. It is Labor Day weekend and summer is in its final hurrah. There is this strange sensation with summer being over, though technically we still have 20 days left to the season. Geese have been flying over head for weeks, and the light has been inching away slowly and steadily, getting darker every evening just a little bit sooner, and mornings becoming later as the sun is slow to rise. Fall is on the Horizon, many kids have already returned to school, and college students have begun there work. Here on Lopez, after this weekend, we will begin to see less tourism, and will begin to recognize more and more people in the ferry line and at the grocery store. Soon we will be wearing sweaters in the evenings, and maybe even see some much needed rain.

For me the party is over. Several weeks ago I embraced summer and began having fun. Not totally raucous fun, but a little afternoon drinking, or staying up late with friends. Even though this weekend could be seen as the final party, I am already returning to myself, my inner work, my home and my routine. I am feeling my sensitivities return and my desire to focus on work/writing, and going to church. I am not sure if I will be able to resume the early Sunday morning routine of attending a worship group, but it is a thought. Fall seems like a good time to reconnect with my community on Lopez, and to revel in prayer and walking in the dwindling sunlight in contemplation and as well as solitude.

I am in the final phases of producing my book, Glass Slippers - A Journey with Mental Illness, and am hoping to have it out in October or November. As the project comes to a head, I am wanting to polish and give my words a fine combing over, because once it is in book form it will never be changed. It feels good to have a project and to be in the process of producing a creative work once again.

I do not know what this Fall will bring. I will continue my work at the Library, but I do not know the amount of work that will be offered, it may just be one day a week for a few hours. This will provide time for me to focus on Yoga, writing and publishing, and nurturing time with family. It is so nice to have my family close, and now that my sister has a two and a half year old, there is ever the opportunity to help her out and play with Ada. I will miss my swims in the pond come winter, so I will have to savor some chilly swims this September and October before the water turns to ice. Even then I may take an occasional dip.

So the Earth has shifted, I feel it deep in my bones, and in my sensitive muscles and fascia that wish to weep, to mourn the hard and hot days of summer. I am ready to move into a sensitive and inward place. My body is telling me to come in, to settle down, to quiet and to let go. Now, on days when I am feeling a bit slower, I may weep into my bolster in child’s pose, or crawl back under the covers to savor the morning all the more in the form of rest and contemplation.

Life is ever evolving. My partner and I know this as we continue to wrestle with the reality of disability. There is much to grieve about the times when we could provide, be productive, contribute and support others. But every phase in life has its season, its importance. Learning to care for ourselves, bring the attention inward, slow down and conserve, can also serve its purpose. Right now is a time for rest. We mourn the days of excitement, money, work and hard play; having more than we need, and yet evolution, healing, and new born consciousness is with us. As the planet makes yet another click on its axis, I will accept the change, I will flow with time, and embrace the innate and inner intelligence of the planet and its seasons. I am here, now, okay, and happy.