Growing Pains

It is the New Year. Here we are, once again, endless opportunity before us to change and evolve into the people and beings that we hope to be. The light is returning and the cold and darkness is still with us at the same time. We are inward, we are contemplative and we are wanting to improve, we are wanting to be all that we can be.

Yet it is just another day. One of the things we might be realizing if we are in a positive frame of mind is how far we have come. We have been through so much. We have seen valleys and mountain tops, and we reflect on these things in our past, reminiscing on the high moments and mourning the low. Life is interesting, in some ways I know I will never be what I used to, physically mostly, but I also see how far I have come spiritually, mentally and emotionally. I am growing older, all of us are growing older year after year, but I believe that is something to celebrate.

This last year, 2016, has been full of many realizations for me. I was reminded once again of the need for me to take extra care of myself. This is true for everyone, but I display an extra talent for not being tolerant of neglect. Early in the spring of this last year I had another psychotic break; I had hoped never to experience this again in my life and yet it happened. There was also a low as we realized that Stephen’s health was getting worse as far as his mobility, and we discovered that he needed a major neurological surgery that will happen in early March of 2017. It will at that time have been a full year of visiting doctors and getting referrals and getting blow after blow of bad news.

All these troubles have led us to manage our health, spiritually, mentally and physically much better. We are battling our addictions that have come with coping with a life of living at the lower end of the totem pole as well as just the every day struggle of emotions that are hard to bear. These have come from hard times, abuses, and traumas that happened in the past. All are scars we can honor and heal, wear as battle stripes as well as sit with and admire the color they add to our being.

It is time to heal. We have slowed down, lessened work and pinched pennies. We have received amazing support from my family and the community and we are left humbled and hopeful. I look forward to a year ahead of healing, of awareness and of hope as we continue to learn from our struggles and embrace them as learning experiences that will only expand our understanding of the universe and ourselves. So here is to a year of growth and healing, hope and faith, and of reveling in all we have accomplished.