The Darkness
It is early in the morning on the 20th of December, to me the beginning to this Solstice celebration of 2016. It is dark and stormy out and it is 5am, but I have refrained from writing a blog for a couple of weeks so it serves that I should be motivated in the wee hours. This year has shown to be difficult, ravishing, elementary and life sustaining. I went through a major turning, vision quest or in technical terms, a psychotic break this spring. At the same time my husband, Steve had a major break down as well regarding his body. He had vertigo and the symptoms of the arthritic bone spurs we later discovered were heightened and extreme. He was telling me today an event that I do not remember, where my mother drove him to the clinic. Unfortunately our clinic under performed and we did not receive the referral for six months. Finally, after worrying it could be something as degenerative and serious as Parkinson’s disease, we discovered through tests that he has a pinched spinal chord and will most likely be going into surgery in January of 2017.
I left my job at the Chamber of Commerce, not knowing when I would return to this world. Thankfully I have been blessed with an expert pharmacoligist and psychologist, that has helped me to expand my medications and has guided me to my current recovery. We put a close to our time selling tacos this summer as we realized it was just to much work, and I began volunteering at the Library. Now I am working there as a substitute and am fully satisfied with this position. I recently turned down a larger position as I have learned, most recently and after many years of having my illness, to manage myself in a way to not overextend.
This year has most importantly brought me to a place of refuge. I spend time at the Willow tree being in my body, I spend hours every morning journaling and reading tarot and praying, I go to yoga and have taken up study of subjects that are fulfilling and am spending much time reading. I gave up coffee and have discovered the amazing world of loose tea. Right now I am drinking Mango Ceylon bought from our local herb shop, Panchamama that was also started this year. I have taken up talking with spirits and believing in this. I am reading about my psychic abilities right now and am finding this very healing. I still pray to Jesus, but I also pray to Grandmother Spirit. I have new Faith in my Family and I have grown even closer to them through this last year. This has taken healing I know that has happened in my body, spirit and soul.
Today is the beginning of the time of returning to the light. It is the height of the Horned one’s time and it marks the time between Samhain, when the God takes reign and Imbolc when the Goddess is born once again. Most of all it is the birth of our Savior, the light which we are returning to now. I have felt the pull on my spirit as the Earth changes course and it has been intense these last few days. We are prospering in our little home, we have Faith in upcoming events and we are doing our homework. Life is good. May you welcome this new year into your heart with peace and joy and hope for all you wish to manifest in your life.