Rebel Heart

I am a rebel.

My heart has been broken.

Over and over again.

I became angry.

I become cold.

I was capable of completely disengaging

From my body,

From my mind.

I knew my heart had a beat,

But it was blackened,

With grief that had crystalized,

Into smokey quartz,

Covered in blood stains and tears.

I was frozen.

I could look into my reality,

A kaleidoscope,

A maze,

A riddle connecting me to my past,

To me, to my true self.

My instincts guided me,

I was indestructible,

I was unbreakable,

Because I had already broke,

Shattered into millions of pieces,

The tracks only traceable by a miracle.

You see, God is soft,

And She creeps in,

Through the change,

At intervals of your well greased machine.

It does not seek destruction,

But it is not afraid of it,

And still She finds you,

A seductress,

A bad ass,

A super bitch,

Yet she can be small, soft, silky,

And she finds you on the desolate edge,

Of the cliff you created.

Her tendrils touch you,

And a chill passes through,

Memories flash before your eyes,

You know there is hope,

That there is a way.

Like moss you begin to soak her in,

And once you become saturated, heavy,

You have no choice but to surrender,

Because you are heavy now, tired.

It looks like the end but it is just the beginning.

You have been saved and you don’t even know.

With soft eyes, my icicles melting,

To create a pool of soothing and warm water,

That will soak my tears, and hold them,

I let go,

I learn to love,

I surrender,

I yield.