Basic Wellness

Obsessive compulsive behavior exists in many forms. Many alcoholics suffer from obsessive thinking and compulsive behavior. Anorexia and bulimia involve obsessive thinking and compulsive behaviors. Perfectionism can be a type of obsessive thinking, and can lead to compulsion. When I act out of perfectionism, I often overdo things or do them in anger. My angry reaction to a dirty floor or messy house leads to action that is unbalanced. I may aggressively attack the lawn or vacuuming. I try and do things mindfully. Mindfulness is essential to my mental health, as well as doing all things in moderation. My eating disorder of anorexia-bulimia, that I have been recovered from since I was in my teens, led to obsessive exercise and compulsive eating, or starving myself. I still deal with residual effects of this disorder to this day, even if I say I am a recovered person that had an eating disorder in their past. Being in AA and quitting drinking, has led to my ability to moderate exercise as well as not overeat. Alcoholism can become incredibly compulsive for some alcoholics, and many alcoholics are perfectionists. We can also obsess about booze, and many in recovery deal with this obsession well into their abstinence.

Mostly, my obsessive compulsive behavior and my perfectionism play out in my daily life by being unsatisfied with my home and body, or compulsive eating, exercise, or chores. I can do myself a lot of good by taking my life one day at a time, and having the confidence that I will get to my cleaning eventually. I also practice acceptance of my home and my body. I try and appreciate what is actually being done, and both me and my partner, who is also disabled, cheer eachother on for doing simple tasks. Basic wellness, my ultimate goal and practice in recovery, is a focus on basic life health. This involves cleaning, hygiene, medications, diet, and exercise. It also involves having support, help, and connection. AA helps me feel connected and also provides mental health support. Having the ability to take basic wellness seriously, and reminding myself that living with major mental illness is a full-time job, helps me ground in reality, as well as have reasonable expectations. Perfectionism causes one to have literally “insane” expectations of oneself. It pushes me to attack and live life in extremes. This is detrimental to my achievement of basic health and wellness, and can also trigger mental illness and compulsive behaviors.

I myself do not have obsessive compulsive disorder, just as someone who suffers from anxiety or depression may not actually have clinical depression or chronic anxiety disorder. I do have to manage obsessive compulsive behavior in my life, though, to a lesser degree, and this imbalance can definitely contribute to my schizoaffective disorder and worsen those symptoms. Managing my perfectionism and obsessive compulsive nature helps me considerably. Simple mantras such as “One day at a time”, “Everything in moderation”, “Take it easy”, “Keep it simple”, and “Good enough is good enough”, all help me achieve balance and equanimity. Basic health and wellness is completely about balance. I must achieve in simple ways to be successful in life, all while managing serious mental illness.

I do believe that obsessive compulsive thinking and behaviors are directly connected to my psychological addiction of anorexia bulimia, and my alcoholism for which I am in recovery. I may be a recovered alcoholic, and I may be recovered from my eating disorder, but both addictions could crop up at any time if I am not diligent and actively aware of, and working towards, wellness. To me “Basic wellness”, is all of the activities that I must manage throughout the day that make up daily living. A meal, sleep, exercise, and medication, can all be a challenge and potentially life threatening. I must take my multitude of medications every morning and every night, along with managing refills and setting them up for the week. I must get a good nights sleep every night; there is never a time when staying up late or skipping a nights sleep is not potentially very damaging and risky. I must eat good food and exercise, as I am at risk of diabetes, obesity, and injured joints; my weight and diet are a crucial thing to manage, and blood sugar can be triggering. But still, basic wellness is not to become an obsession. In all life I must take a soft and compassionate view of myself, my habits, and my environment.

I may be disabled, but life is not without work. Balance, moderation, mental health, and sobriety, as well as mindfulness and compassion, are all incredibly crucial, not just for ease and happiness, but for survival.