Inner Valleys

Struggle seems like a key that is staring us in the face, nagging at our door. So many of us wish and choose to turn away from these depths and live our lives denying the deeper truth that awareness and acceptance can provide. I have learned that if a person triggers me to a certain state, bringing out the ‘worst’ in me, that this is a great opportunity for me to turn in, learn and better myself. These challenges open a door and allow me to change and alter the course of my path. This is something that I crave to do. We all wish to and fear change at the same time. We wonder at why our lives are a certain way, and ask regularly why we can’t change even though we also so naturally resist it; when it is just staring us in the face at almost every turn. I’ve learned that embracing the challenge, the difficulty, the triggers, and by going deeper, there sits a well of wisdom just beneath the surface. This takes perseverance, patience and willingness. What seems ugly and tarnished, is truly a golden blessing… an ugly duckling waiting for us to give it a home and watch the transformation that is naturally and innately going to take place if we just let it.

Observing myself and folks that also struggle deeply in life, I see a common theme. There is true wisdom in the words “Emptiness is form and form is emptiness,” and though I have yet to and seek to understand these words, I also understand that the truth lies in the lack of understanding and knowledge. Those who suffer deeply also care deeply, and I believe that the key lies deep in the suffering, that through acceptance of the way things are in their true state, of which I believe is suffering, a door and window can appear, and with the key in your hand, one can walk through the door and achieve a phase of peace. Life is about little steps, small oases of peace around every turn. But sometimes and commonly we find ourselves butted up against mountainous barriers. These barriers are protecting our selves from our valleys of grief that can run deep and wide. Challenges, challenging people, illness and pain can be doorways to the sun breaking its warming glows on these inner valleys. To traverse the landscapes of our lives we must move through these not so pretty places. We must break down the walls that protect us from our own transformation. Ultimately, we must welcome uncomfortable moments to break us out of the cushy ruts that we have created for ourselves. We long to be free of the velvet handcuffs… we long for our freedom deeply. But life is messy and painful. It is not always easy to face these truths, but I am reminding myself today to not fear the rough spots, but to welcome them with open arms. It may not be easy, but overtime it will change me. I do not fear life, I welcome it upon me like a flowing ice cold river, awakening my senses to the freedom within the truth, for it is in struggle that I become most alive.