Love and the Universe

Nothing is as good as a deep connection. 

What about the connection we have with the world at large? What about the struggles and stories of billions. How many versions could there be -from the disdainful to the depraved to the completely hollow; from the Serial killer, to the piano prodigy, to the starving Nicaraguan searching for clean water.

At the base of the hollow resides something truly deep. I know that the seeds of change come from butterfly wings. Sometimes change is not so subtle. I ask myself this because I wish for awareness, and I know that this can only come from substituting the childish dramas and predictable stories that we create to keep us occupied and safe. 

I more believe in  Nature and Love, and I mourn the fact that there is devastated female energy in the cosmos and here on Earth. I do believe that sexual energy is both feminine and masculine, and it is a way to express ourselves. Many fall into the issue that exploring our sexual selves blatantly disagrees with the plastic white format of society, the large and essential part of society that blares and glares at us through reflective glass. We are not asked to be aware of its presence because it serves something truly evil, equivalent to a plague, like the Nothing in The Never Ending Story.

Those of us lost here, pressured inside ourselves by the plastic wrapping that encases and strangles our truly spiritual aware bodies, cut ourselves down to a size so small that we can’t see beyond the plastic play house in front of us with its pink ruffled roof, and unreal inexact plastic figures that live inside.

I really don’t want to live inside of that maze that recycles itself. I want to break beyond its walls and smell and breathe in the air of something so much greater and more amass. Something out there that calls to me, ripping apart my imposed plastic parts with such an explosive force the particles dissolve into microscopic dust trillions of light years away. I want this for all my friends, whom I consider the population of planet earth. Any human inhabitant will do.

I can and will make this happen, with writing, painting or praying. I will find a way to reach out and through the cosmos for something greater. And I can feel it out there. Sometimes on the edge, sometimes all around me it is so overwhelming I fear it is not real. We are not allowed to believe in the unreal.

I know this because I have been there, through a handful of major psychotic episodes, and countless minor ones. I live with this break of reality every day, and take very expensive scientifically crafted drugs in order to inhibit such experiences. Yet lately I have felt it safe to let it have meaning. Even though I have only eked in a particle of this faith, I can feel it taking hold. To have such profound experiences and run in fear from them because society has deemed this inadequate, a danger and strait up ridiculous is unfair.

I will be resolved.