The classical music is playing

And I am trying to not be nauseous

I am so sensitive

To stimulus

And in the morning

The world is spinning

And often I cannot contain myself

I wake and vomit

In the toilet

Or off the porch

It reminds me of being a child

I was always throwing up

Nauseous on the tire swing

Car sick

Plane sick

Travel sick

From the commotion of the world

I was sensitive

The sensitivity can be a gift

But in high school it manifested as

An eating disorder

My first addiction

Then I made myself vomit

And I binged and purged

Starved myself and ran

I ran and ran and ran

It was my joy

Often I would run until

I puked

Sensitivity as a gift

Manifested as a victim

Of bullying, of teasing

Stomach aches when I needed

To do chores

Outbreaks of emotion

As a small child

Heightened creativity

Intelligence

But still, my SAT scores were low

Lower than my PSAT scores

I channelled the stress in the room

People were difficult

Their stress and fear difficult to process

Strangers around me

Competition made me paralyzed

I hated competing

I still do to this day

Now I am mentally ill

But I still try to realize my gifts

Unraveling the mystery begins

With comprehending

My sensitivity

Right now I am in a minor episode

And I have felt

This sensitivity return

How can I live a life

Full of simplicity,

Full of faith and prayer?

I must avert competition

I must avert aggression

Luckily

On my small Island

I feel safe

Safe to just be

Safe to talk to the birds and trees

Safe to process All I have absorbed

In this difficult life

Life is difficult for all of us

And as I find support

As I find my peers

I can see that I am not alone

Addiction, mental illness

They are but symptoms

To sensitivity

We are special

And I believe we can heal

Together

So thank you angels

For all of my blessings

Gratitude helps me with perspective

I still must tolerate nausea

But I am sleeping well

My meds are working

And I have support

From family, friends and professionals

In stillness I accept

I learn to listen

To my body

My inner song

My inner voice

And allow my sensitivity

To shape me

To guide me

To help me

Understand