Family

Why do families break?

Sometimes abuses run so deep

That mending relationships

Within our families

Is virtually impossible

I come from a broken family

On my mom’s side

Sometimes the telephone

Becomes possessed

By the trauma

It is as if connection failed

Is felt even on the wire

It won’t ring, or won’t go through

Or the person may become frozen

Unable to answer

But there are answers to be found here

There are clues in the patterns of abuse

There are waves of energy

Within our stories

These stories are sacred

We must make peace with our trauma

But sometimes connection

Is too broken to heal

So we must pray

For our brothers and sisters

That we cannot reach

Our aunts and uncles

Family is sacred

Blood relatives are sacred

Still, in healing

We make bonds beyond our blood ties

So my mother’s family does not go

Beyond my mother

I spoke a few times with my uncle

Before he died, and it was special

Though I barely knew him

I could tell he loved me very deeply

He felt so familiar

My uncle and mother never spoke

And he died when she was in Japan

I love my aunts, my mother’s two sisters

And I have tried through recent years

To make connection

My mother tries too, though it is hard

I feel at some point

We must give it over to god

Let go of our grief and pain

That can surface with family

Broken families have a story

I believe that they are sacred

Even parallel to the abuse

We must acknowledge them

As we make peace within ourselves

As we heal

And perhaps sometimes

What we do have is enough

What little connection is made

Is progress, is enough

I could tell when me and my uncle spoke

That he loved me deeply

I heard him when he told me

To be okay

It was magical, and sad

Rest in peace, Chris

You were an incredible man

And I am grateful to have known you

Thank you for the moments we shared

At the end of your life

And my mother loves you too

Very deeply