The air this morning is so clean and damp. The sun is shining and the birds are still singing in the morning, thought their songs have changed with the fall migrations. Last night I heard hundreds of geese shouting in the dark. Whether they were moving in or out I do not know. My oak tree is starting to turn, and the pine and cedar trees have shed heavily in the recent wind. Their orange needles and branches litter the ground adding color to the landscape. Riding the ferry to the mainland for Steve’s cancer treatment, I have been taking a moment to go out on the upper deck, and smell the sweet and salty air coming off of the water. One day as it began to get light, Mt. Baker was outlined in orange and purple because of recent fires, and it was magnificent. The gratitude I feel for living in these islands is immense.

My therapist told me to make things simple. I am practicing this on a spiritual level as well. I worry about my cat, but most days we are back by 1pm, except for Thursday which is a chemo day and we come home on the 4:30pm ferry. The five days a week we travel off island, we wake up around 4:30am to catch a 6:30am boat. It is dark when there is no moon. It resembles having a job. When I get home I am tired and want to rest. This weekend I have been focusing on a list of things to do and poking away at it as gently as I can. Steve at this point is still cooking and cleaning in the kitchen, though that may change. One way to be simple is to focus on the important things. Food, sleep or rest, and movement. On the ferry leaving and coming home which takes about 45 minutes, I put on my headphones and walk laps around the upper deck. Leaving it is dark, and it is a pleasure while I walk to watch the light slowly descend on the islands. Simplicity is important. It is in these simple tasks that I find self care and pleasure. Unfortunately there is not a whole lot of room for other things. I am able to keep my service positions with my meetings right now, and these meetings, whether I am attending or leading them, are definitely a form of self care.

As I get spiritually simple, I focus on gratitude and I keep things light. Steve and I are best friends and can joke about anything. Leaning into the fact that the treatment we are receiving is such a gift, it is easy to be grateful to the kind nurses, doctors, and technicians that are working with us. Steve made a batch of fudge last night to bring to the hospital. It is an exchange of joy and gratitude. Steve and I also take a lot of pleasure in caring for each other. He wakes up early, around 5:00pm, and I typically sleep in more, though that has now changed on the weekdays. Steve makes my chai tea that I drink in the morning. I also am happy when I am able to do something for Steve. Doing laundry, taking out the trash, going shopping at the store, are all things that benefit us both. I myself, am so incredibly grateful for his cooking and work in the kitchen. I hope that he is able to continue these tasks to some degree, because it also makes him happy.

The moral or value I take away from living a simple life full of gratitude, is that it is possible to get through any difficult time if you practice these values. Staying as light as possible and keeping a sense of humor is very helpful during stressful times. I value that immensely, and Steve and I are good at practicing humor and laughter in our lives. Humor is free and joyful. Caring for myself first, and attending to my mental, physical, and emotional health, is very important if I want to show up and be a supportive and caring partner. I am grateful for Steve who is always encouraging me to take it easy and take better care of myself. Gratitude, simplicity, humor, and self care are such simple things, though they do become a necessity when life puts us through major challenges. That is definitely a walk away I believe I will take from Steve’s cancer. Why not live this way all of the time? Life is short and it is nice to know we can find pleasure in the most basic things we do to survive and live. I am grateful for this potentially stressful and difficult time we are going through. It has proven already to teach me valuable lessons for life.