Taking it easy is not always an easy thing to do. But I find after a couple days of rest, my mind gets totally reset. I need this. Often I am striving to do things like chores, the gym, and seeing family and friends. Yesterday I conked out. I didn’t even meditate. I did attend two meetings at 8am and 7pm, but I took a nap in the middle of the day and rested all around. Often with mental illness, it becomes challenging to check in with oneself when you are feeling like you need a break. Am I feeling cold symptoms? Am I feeling side effects? Am I having symptoms from my mental illness? It can all become a mish-mash of feelings. I try not to sort through them with a fine toothed comb. I usually know when I need to take a break, because my body is sending me information that I need rest.

I am grateful for this life. I have a really good life. I still need to practice acceptance daily. I need to accept my fat body, I need to accept that I have mental illness, I need to accept that I am a smoker and deal with addictive behavior around food. And in all this daily acceptance I can also practice gratitude. I have so much gratitude for my partner of 25 years. I have gratitude for my family, I have gratitude for the roof over my head and having enough money, I have gratitude for a body that can work out up to an hour and a half four days a week, I have gratitude for my writing skills, I have gratitude for willingness to attempt to do things that feel difficult. I am grateful for my mediation practice. So many things make up my life that I can be grateful for. I am also very grateful for sobriety. Every day is a gift when you are sober. Over time light enters a sometimes dark and clouded reality that you were only partly aware of. My partner is sober too, and I even have gratitude for the fun times we spent drinking. I just know now that life is better without alcohol.

Taking it easy, practicing acceptance, being grateful, and living one day at a time, are probably the most important mechanisms in my life that act as a reminder for good living. Another thing that I have learned while practicing sobriety these last three and a half years, is that it is okay to admit when I am wrong. It is good to make an apology the moment that I realize that I may have offended or hurt someone. It is called a daily inventory. How am I affecting those around me? Did I fall into some negative behavior and say something hurtful that I can address right away? I also check my attitudes regularly. Am I tempted to gossip? Am I thinking hurtful thoughts about myself or another person? I have learned in sobriety that I want to respect everyone. Even if they have done something that I perceive as less than acceptable, I don’t necessarily need to get on my high horse and stew. When I find I have an opinion about something, I avoid email threads and social media as places to air my dirty laundry. I have found that righteous anger does not feel good. I may have an opinion, but do I need to share it? It feels good to be this person. I have truly learned to leave my ego at the doorstep.

That is probably the final lesson that I wish to share today. Whether it is giving my will over to god, relinquishing my ego, or letting go of self will, I find that these are good ways to not live in suffering. I have learned that living my life in service, and thinking of others above myself, is the path to ultimate gratitude, as well as a spiritual existence. I must get out of myself and my head. When I push myself too hard at the gym or around the house, this is another way that I can get wrapped up in myself and forget the bigger picture. When I take these restful days, I begin to slowly relax and gain perspective on my life. My body and mind need this restfulness and stillness. When I am easy with myself, it is easier to give my life and will over to Chaos, the Universe, my Higher Power, or God. I can practice increasing acceptance and gratitude, and remember that I only have today. I can humble myself before a newcomer at one of my meetings, and remember not only how far I have come, but what it feels like to be alone and suffering. As I reach out my hand to a person in need, I am elevated to the next level. I am so grateful to have added these principles to my daily living, and for my health which gives me the opportunity to grow and change.