A Flowering Genius

There are many flowering geniuses in the world. They may seem inconsequential to the average person. Their light, their genius, is meant to only be witnessed by a lucky few as they blossom and realize their true destiny. This world is so vast and complex. When you become involved, an active participant in your dreams, you become humble and make the best of the life you have been given.

I have been reading a lot of buddhist texts lately and a book on kundalini yoga. I am so grateful to be reading once again, as I am doing well and am well adjusted to a combination of meds that makes me feel like my true self. It also allows me the privilege of being a reader, a great love of mine. I cannot always participate in reading however, as anxiety and the other symptoms of schizoaffective disorder interfere with this basic skill. My therapist told me yesterday, that it is good when her patients tell her they are reading because it is a sign of their wellness. I have often criticized myself for being a writer who reads very little, though I have a schizoaffective friend in Boston who is a prolific writer, and who tells me he barely reads. So one may not know this about those of us who suffer with acute mental illness, but this is a real fact and a side affect of our trials.

My partner the other day said, “I think you are a genius.” It feels funny to share this information here, but that is what I do, exist in the transparent realm of truth and honesty. It is just that being a genius does not always mean being a celebrity or in the spotlight. Schopenhauer said that “Talent is hitting a target no-one else can hit. Genius is hitting a target no-one else can see.” I have a couple friends that I see this quality in. If you are hitting a target that no-one else can see, obviously very few may witness your genius. Those who do, are blessed to flower with you, and enter the bliss that results from your discoveries, creativity or inventions.

So am I a genius? I do not know. How could anyone claim such a thing? My buddhist readings have reminded me of the power of humbleness and compassion. True generosity, forgiveness, compassion, these are the things that make up a genius, I believe. I also think this is why our celebrities don’t always hit the mark. We all are watching. To be so much in the ego counteracts any true genius in my opinion.

So don’t be afraid of being small. Don’t be ashamed of being humble. These are true enormous gifts in themselves. Focus inward and allow your true genius to flower in its very own way and in its very own time. Few may see, may witness this, but those who do will be blessed to share your journey with you.