'Coming Out' at Forty
In 2007 I was coming out as a Transexual. In 2018, I am now 39 years old, and I am currently coming to the revelation that this is true. I am definitely a man trapped in a woman’s body. I am also Bi-sexual.
I’ll try to not be too sexual, but it is sexual, it is a sexual issue. I have a photo of myself at seventeen on a beach with my sister. I can tell by looking at “me” that there is something different going on below the waist. After analyzing the last 5 years or so of my sexual experience with my partner, I know and can see that something has become “not right” as I get more in touch with who I really am. My groin and sexual parts have been talking to me, they have definitely been telling me something. This is where I will not get too graphic. My angel is a gay man; why have you been talking to me, G? I have been incredibly frustrated sexually and it has been difficult to assess and figure out. My partner has Kleinfelders, and I have not been sexually active for several years due to his spinal stenosis surgery and disability.
I do not ever know if I will get over the past life of Julius Augustus Caesar, an incredibly karmic and unresolved past life. I was crucified by my six best men, and one badass fucking woman. However, they let me live, and now I am still with a man that I loved so dearly that life. I believe Steve’s name was Brutis (in the Senate). His brother, Michael, was my twin Druid sister, and I hope to meet him someday. I can tell we are very connected. I believe we are able to speak as one, still in 2018, in this life.
Transsexuality is both a physical experience as well as a spiritual one. I believe that it involves past lives, though it may not for everyone. For me, it is not necessary to change my physical body, and I want to have sex that feels good; I can and will dress any way that I want as well as carry my body as I wish. I already do this. Sex is what could change with better awareness of my sexual body and who I truly am. It will be a journey, and I am just beginning it in the open. So here is to coming out at forty. Not bad, I must say.