Well it is a new year, and it is my Niece’s birthday today. She will be two years old. I myself turned 38 yesterday. It was a good birthday all in all. The day before my birthday we had a nice party over at the farm with music and Proseco and juice nectar cocktails. We also had Steve’s famous Tiramisu which was a hit. It was a few hours surrounded by good friends and food, and music.

It is rainy today, it is still March but we are approaching April fast. The plum tree outside my window is blooming and there are daffodils, yellow and peaceful, dressing the earth in many places. The forsythia is in bloom and this is always a sign that my birthday is near. This year it came out with my special day, in synchronicity, and this was also reminding me we are having a late spring this year.

I have been raising money for my book and fine tuning my manuscript before I send it off to be edited and published. I believe I have found the correct company to publish and market my book, but I am sitting with it for a couple of weeks as I ask friends and acquaintances of their experiences with publishing. I am learning a lot and it is an exciting process. I should have my book in print in about five months and this is thrilling. I am moving forward with telling my story in an even more expanded venue and this feels good. I have received an insurmountable amount of support through my fundraising campaign and I am excited to think that all of these donors will be reading my book someday.  

As the wind blows in the branches of the asian plum and the beautiful blooms dance in the wind, I am reminded of the impermanence and substantiality of life. My book may last for decades to come and my body will as well, but some day it all may be ancient history. I wonder if the tree will still be standing still, one hundred years form now, blooming once again for Ada’s children or grandchildren. I hope to pass on this farm to my sister’s children someday. I can look into the future generations now, knowing that all of the trees my mother planted will see decades to come. 

I am lucky in this life. I have had trials and there have been really difficult and painful times dealing with my illness. However, I am grateful to have arrived where I am today. I am going to publish a book, and I plan on putting any money I am able to make into the next one. I have found my calling as a writer. I have also created a peaceful life with family as well as within my relationship and for that I eternally grateful. I have managed my illness to a point of stability and this is a huge accomplishment, one that many mental health consumers never achieve.

This bounty is real. It is fresh and spiritual. I want to take the time to savor the moment and not rush along the way with expectations of myself that are not needed. I want to just sit and realize that I am lucky and blessed and also that I am wonderful. I am perfect and I am surviving with grace, I am succeeding with levity.