Changes

January has been challenging, yet so enlightening and vivid. I have suffered from two allergic reactions, 4 days of terrible menstrual days, and several days of general fatigue and exhaustion. On the beautiful side, I have conquered a patio and a new garden design, sustainability and diligence in a grain free and vegetarian diet, illuminating time with friends, the development of a new writing group, and special times spent riding my bike to the village to do grocery shopping (a practice that includes therapy for my knee and efforts to be more sustainable). How can so much good coincide with so much hardship you ask? I believe in the balance of the universe, I believe in the gifts that must also be coupled with challenges.

I am in the “business” (no money involved) of writing about my personal life in my blog, and turning my experiences into fiction and inspirational writings for projects as well as newspaper articles as of recent. I heal from these writings as I unfold my thoughts onto pages. I feel sharing these experiences and hopeful wisdoms may allow for the shedding of light onto the crevasses in our spirits that may need to hear the sonnets of a kindred heart.

David Bowie died this last week. He died in private and his death came as a surprise to the entertainment world that has followed him so closely through the years. David Bowie is an Icon, an incredibly famous and talented artist… I am out there, but am an ant and Bowie the Empire State building.

I was very inspired by an article profiling his private death as a statement of great magnitude in our futuristic world of profiling ourselves on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and other social media. Very few celebs, and some mere middle schoolers for that matter, are able to live private lives without the world looking in through our devises. One must have a twitter account to land a job in the “real” world, or so I hear.

I am very inspired by this idea of taking private moments. Bowie was able to release and produce a monumental, thought provoking and cutting edge album on his reflections and experience facing death that was released to the world just days before his death. It is astonishing, gut wrenching and so revealing to witness these videos and listen to these songs. I admire his tenacity and bravado as he gave the finger to the world once again. Blessings on your journey, Bowie.

That being said, I will choose to continue to share my journeys and musings on my humble blog. Though I may think twice about what I share and process in the ‘public’ eye, (most of my readers are close friends), and I will contemplate spending more moments in solitude, and less on Instagram and Facebook.

A far as struggle begetting enlightenment, light existing with dark, cosmic balance, I must make a final mention. I am going through “the change”, and have discovered this recently. I am sensitive, psychically aware, I am journeying into my crone years early. It has come on sudden and strong. I spend time staring at the wall in order to renew my resources, and am also extra creative, wanting to socialize less, and yes, I experienced an astoundingly more difficult menstrual time. I am curious what "the change” is like for men, as I believe we all must transform from our purpose being to reproduce to our purpose being to share wisdom and pass this on to our children and grandchildren as they grow to adulthood.

Yes, I could write on this endlessly, and you will hear from this resource of reflection again, I am sure. I am drawn inward and I want to be still and solitary. I also must write. I will find the balance, I am sure.

In the light and dark struggle and blessing waves that I have been through already in 2016, I am preparing for one of the most enlightening years of my life. I have already learned with my disability that the Gift does not come without a curse. Growing pains are painful. Death is imminent, however, as David Bowie and all of his loved ones and fans discovered recently. We must embrace the pains of our turnings, and embrace them with the knowledge that through the deep darkness an even brighter light can burst through.