Lover of my Life, Lover of my Soul

Lovers are our souls; they are our workshops, our liturgy, and our symphony. They are there when we need them most, their touch, their smiles, their warm words. They are also our storms, our dumping grounds, our garbage service, and our chopping blocks. I am grateful for every moment that I have had with my lover. It has been many years and counting, and there is nothing in the world I would exchange for my relationship. Without Steve I don’t know where I would be, what I would have done or who I would have become. He has shaped me, guided me, saved me and held me through my worst tempests, even if it was just standing by and watching as I destroyed, crumbled and screamed. He lets me be myself, and honors me within all of my moments, beauteous, dazzling, somber and wretched.

I yield to the power of God now in my life. I see how He is infinite, how He is a master orchestrator. I know not all of the divinity to his divine plan, but I can see how if you let go and let God, that he does provide. That through struggle and adversity he is guiding us, rewarding us, showing us so much. To be blind to the blessing of his plan is more normal that we think, but we are missing so much, we are lacking the flavor and the sauce of life if we do not witness with open and loving hearts the majesty of the great composition.

I have grown, worked on my heart, grief, fears and Faith so much. Though until recently I just believed I was trying. Then God puts something in my path that I cannot avoid, and through working my way around it and observing the doors that are opening as ones close right in my face, I have been given the greatest gift. Through all of these miracles that can take any form, I am seeing how I have changed. I am seeing how I am ready for something new. But God is showing this to me, it is no mistake and it is my gift and my reward. Thank you for showing me that I am strong and capable. Thank you for giving me the truth of where on this journey I am. Without you I do not know that I am capable of loving myself. I have tried, but you have opened the door for me to see the beauty in all of it. There is purpose; there is divine order in all of the messes. God, you are truly a gifted artist, and I revel in your majesty. My one true thanks is for you showing me the truth that I am worthy, and I am blessed. I feel loved, watched over and cared about. The fact that I have this with you, Lord, is immense. I love my life, my family, my husband, but you knew me and created me, and there is no one else who can guide me and teach me the things that are at the epicenter of my heart. You change people. Bless you, God, I am grateful to you.

Steve has always been there, and he still is. This was your divine plan as well. I see how you have touched me through him. He is ever grateful for your presence in my life. I feel I am able to love him more completely because I know your love and I know myself. We are patient in this life when we know love. Steve has been so patient with me over the years, and I feel I owe him so much for being there. But you are the ticket, Lord, so show me how to live my life in accordance with you, to be open to and observant of the order and blessing you provide with your masterpiece. This is my life; I am in it, for and because of you. To have Faith is an immense discovery for me. Steve is the lover of my life, and you are the lover of my soul.