The sounds are real

Waves that go

Swimming into my ears

A goose, a gander,

A plane, a growler

An owl, the call of a bird

My music, the movie

I am watching

Voices and information

Collected by my brain

Computed into

Neurotransmitters

Creating thought

Emotions, feelings

The sounds teach

Instruct, guide

They tell me of me

They tell me of other

The vegetables roasting

In the oven

For the stock

Fill my home with good smells

It is not like sound

It is a smoother

Frequency, reaction

It can stir up

Memories

Emotions as well

I’ve always had heightened smell

As a kid I would vomit

Reacting to hot garbage

Or another offensive smell

I hated smokers

Smoke on the airplane

Was offensive

Today I smoke

I believe it hardens me

To the spinning of the world

Not sound or smell

But feeling, vibration

Pain, horror, rage

I can sense it all

My medication helps with that

I need a shield

Faith is a shield

Intelect, atheism

Is also a shield

Fellowship, people

They can be a shield

I need all of this

I cannot slip away

Into psychosis

It can be a battle

But mostly

If I surround myself with silence

If I protect myself from stimulus

If I revel in nature

And allow the birds and the trees

To instruct and guide me

To a gentler frequency

I can find healing

I still need medication

I choose to have sobriety

And I choose recovery

One hundred percent

I choose solitude

I choose companionship

I am not alone

Though in my fear I am

So I challenge fear

I expel fear with love

Acceptance, gratitude

Service

For some reason

Deep inside me

Lives this aloneness

I have work to do

I must attend grief

Shame, anger, rage

I must sit and nurture

My inner most feeling

I must tell myself

Remind myself

That I am not alone

My community loves me

This is the work

And I choose this

I choose right action

I choose faith, belief

If only that the universe holds me

Lovingly and whole