Okay, what are we saving? I am saved. My soul that is. Do I have the power to save someone else’s soul? Can I save money? Barely, not really… I live on disability. Anyway, my message to my fellow Christians, is that if you think that you are able to judge the weight of another soul’s misgivings or their destiny, you probably are not looking upon the person or situation with discernment. Were those your thoughts or God’s thoughts? Once upon a time, I heard a message from God. It can happen if you are into that sort of thing. But the voice of God? You don’t want to hear that, trust me. It is the most frightening thing that one could ever imagine. And no, sweetheart, IT did not speak in English.

The messages I have received from the Lord, have come in the form of a brief statement, a vision of a cross, and a scary noise and light out of the darkness. But I am not allowed to make shit up, okay? In AA, we have a fifth step to be sure that we, us incredibly flawed human beings searching for spirituality, and clarity, do not make shit up. The fifth step: “Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs”, believes in a human witness to observe our troubles, flaws, or sins, usually a neutral being like a sponsor, therapist, or doctor, because that helps us focus in on, and find, reality and thus sanity. As a Catholic, I suppose we tell the priest, and the Jewish person a rabbi, so that we admit our concerns and flaws to an actual human being. Knowing what God is trying to say, desires for us, and what pleases God, does not come easily for most human beings. Some monks or nuns, priests, priestesses, and rabbi, that have devoted their lives to meditation and prayer, may have developed the skill to discern what God desires for us individual human beings. These are rare and special occurrences. Similar to the Tarot or the Runes, you cannot demand real answers from the Universe or God.

Perhaps, Chaos looks like a butterfly, because when we let go of things, when we let knots unravel themselves, when we give freely, and when we relinquish attachment to ideas, beliefs, and our material possessions etc., things begin to make more sense. If we are lost in the Chaos, perhaps we are closer to being found. The butterfly has undergone a transformation. The butterfly also symbolizes transformation. She has beautiful colors. She does not claim these colors as her own, she displays them freely, thus they magically belong to the passer by that is witnessing the beautiful miracle of its flight. She is not attached to her appearance. She has been through way to much to care.

How do we attain this perfect freedom that I just described? We enter the darkness and the Chaos. We give up opinion. We sacrifice ego. We reclaim our identity, so that we can then let go of it. We open our locked treasure box, and literally throw it in the air, litter the road with the golden coins, and then pour water on what is left and let it rust. We break the windows of the inner museums of our belief systems, and our possessions. We let them grow dust, receive sun damage, and we burn holes in our cloth; the cloth of our lives. Our literal clothes. For the holes that we bear from letting go of control, are what will make us holy.

Holey Holy Holey