In my book “Glass Slippers: A Journey of Mental illness”, in the preface, I discuss the two thirds ratio for success. It was in response to an article I read in the Atlantic about cluster suicides among adolescents in the Silicon Valley. I feared that these young teenagers were achieving to their detriment, and proposed that if they, and we, achieved two thirds of what we think we should, we would be much more mentally sound. I am an overachiever. I am a perfectionist and I have always had high expectations for myself. In some ways this is just part of who I am, and I crave danger and excitement to a certain degree. Speaking of degrees, lately I have taken to swimming in our very cold pond here on the property. I believe the water is about 38 or 39 degrees Fahrenheit, and today I stayed in for a good forty minutes. For two days in a row, I did twelve laps which took me approximately forty eight minutes. Today I did ten laps, but I tried to stop at eight. I knew I needed to do a little less, and I thought to myself, eight laps would be two thirds of twelve, which was just over the top. So I did ten. That is how good I am at following my own advice.

Ratios are amazing things. I have also written about the concept of “The more we know, the more we know we don’t know.” This again speaks to a ratio. As my knowledge expands, so does my awareness of the knowledge that I do not have. It is why the most wise among us appear to be the most humble. The Dali Lama for example, or Thích Nhât Hahn. Somehow in their specialness and their wisdom, they do not appear “better than”. In my recovery program, we humble ourselves before the newcomer as they are the most important person in the room. We find that working with others helps us keep our spiritual program in tact. We know that we only have today, and at any point we could lose sight of sobriety and be back in the position of the newcomer. We do not take our sobriety for granted. We know that we are miracles, and that every person with one single day of sobriety, or even the courage to come into the rooms prior to becoming sober, is a miracle. Too many people die, or never find their way.

Mental health is similar. Medications are vital to recovery with mental illness. Not everyone who struggles with addiction has mental illness, but many do. Saddling the hurdle of finding the right medication and all that entails, is a huge first step. Then comes the management of daily symptoms that still occur even with medication. Along with the skills of resilience and hope, we must master acceptance for the fate of our lives. We must learn to live with the incredible stigma that having mental illness carries. We must try and heal our family relations which are often damaged beyond repair. And we must find community, support, and therapy to keep us going. Living with mental illness is not easy, but it can still be joyful and worthwhile. Many of us become good at mastering simple things such as cooking, exercising, or a craft such as knitting or sewing. Our illness often keeps us from pursuing big life accomplishments such as raising a family or having a career, but we find that excelling at simple things in life can reap huge rewards.

Finding balance or equanimity within a certain ratio in life can be enough. We do not need accomplishment if it is going to throw our whole beings into a twirling dervish. We do not need a cup that is overflowing at the brim. We find that if that cup is just two thirds full, we can walk and balance with the cup in hand much more successfully. We find solace in the fact that there is more we can do tomorrow, or that there is space to grow. We humble ourselves before others that are on the journey, because we know we are not the best. We can be satisfied and happy with being good enough. “Why bother better, when good enough is best.” According to my father, that is a quote from my great grandmother. It is something that I wish to embody, and learn to practice in my daily life. I believe that doing so is the next step for me to take in my recovery with mental illness and addiction. There may be a finish line, but I am allowed to stop before it and take three deep breaths. I might even find that the race is better left undone.