Winter Wonder-land

The sun is shining and it is just above freezing outside. My mint has turned dark and wilted, and the ground is hard. There are puddles of ice in the lower field, and Jay’s tennis balls are frozen. It has been very cold for almost a week now, and we all are getting used to it. I played on the frozen pond with my niece and nephew, and watched as the fourteen year old coached the eight year old in how to ice skate. It was an endearing scene to watch as he was so kind and patient, as well as instructive helping her learn to stand and move forward with the oversized skates on her feet. We played hockey with rocks and oars, and enjoyed the winter experience.

I love my family. I feel so loved in return by them all. My parents are in India and receiving treatments from Ayurvedic doctors as well as doing yoga and eating vegetarian for several weeks. They spend about a week at the beach both before and after their time at the ashram. At home, I am taking care of things around the property in my mother’s absence. Collecting mail, sending in deposits, checking on the well house, and managing things in general in the freeze. It feels good to be useful and competent.

Yesterday, we traveled off island for another visit with Steve’s oncologist. We have decided to postpone his immunotherapy as he had such an adverse reaction to the first treatment, not being able to breath for several weeks. He was prescribed a medication that should help him going forward, and we will reexamine the situation in four weeks time with another CT scan and a visit with the doctor. We both feel relieved that he does not have to go through that all again. We went to Costco and ate Thai food in the park. It was a cold day in the car, freezing temperatures. We had the dog with us, and though he barked a lot, he was much improved from the last time we went off.

I feel blessed, and it is good to relax today. I will walk the dog, go to the store, pick up Steve’s meds at the pharmacy, and do a 4pm meeting, but other than that I plan to enjoy most of my day in the recliner. The sun is warm shining in the windows, and as I sit here writing right now, my cat is next to me on the windowsill, and my dog is behind me in the chair here in this small office. Family, as well as companionship from my animals, friends, and my partner have me feeling very warm and blessed. The backdrop of the cold simply has me realizing how warm and held I feel with all of the love that I receive.

It is important for me to get still and find solace in restoration. I find that I process a lot. I may do some reading, but if I watch TV it is very minimal. Mostly during rest I just like to sit or lounge in my chair and observe the passing of time. I may go into a meditative state, zone out, or nod off in a brief nap. Sometimes rest can be painful if I have neglected myself and it is overdo. I may fight off different mental health symptoms, and find myself struggling. Yesterday, off island, I took almost 12,000 steps. I find that when I do reach my 10,000 step goal, it is almost too much for me. In this way the Fitbit watch has proved useful. Despite not going to the gym yesterday, I can see the evidence that I was very active. I can use this evidence to encourage me to be restful today. The goal of the watch may be to encourage activity, but it can also encourage me to rest. It allows me to closely monitor my activity, so I don’t fool myself into doing too much; perhaps the opposite of what most consumers use the watch for. I do enjoy many of the other tools; like managing my heart rate, getting notifications from my phone, managing active zone minutes (though I am still not exactly sure what that is), knowing when I am in fat burn, coaching me in two minute relaxation exercises, having an alarm for when to take my pills, having a timer or stopwatch, and simply knowing the date and time. I love all of these things. It is super fun to be a part of the Fitbit or smart watch “craze” now.

A bit of a ramble, I am also grateful for the practice of writing and wonder in my life. I can reflect, and appreciate this amazing winter wonderland. Writing on this blog allows me to sit back, relax, and meditate on my life and many other things. I am super grateful to have a nice computer, and a sweet office space to make these reflections. I am also grateful to my readers that help keep me active on this blog. I hope you are enduring the winter weather wherever you are, and are staying warm and safe. Blessings to you all!