I have had a lovely day. I was lying on my comfortable bed this afternoon, trying to remember all of the gifts that came my way this Christmas. I feel most fortunate to have a new winter coat and some nice new boots. I am amazed at the light that I already see is returning. It seems we have gotten through the thick of it. I did well this November and December, and I am surprised to feel the light returning so soon. As I walked the dogs this afternoon around the property, the clouds cut the light from the sun, and it was beautiful and godlike. It is almost as if I have been cherishing these dark days in full acceptance. I have mostly gotten out every day to be active in some fashion, and this makes me feel more alive when the darkness sets in around five. Lately, I have been spending even more time outside, either in the light or the sub-par light shrouded in rain and cloud cover, to meditate and sit in the woods. When there is sun, I like to sit in my front yard and soak in the rays. I also have a mood light I sit in front of first thing in the morning while I journal. Overall, It did not feel like the dark got the better of me this late fall, and now that winter is here, the days are just getting longer. What a blessing.

I have shifted my life around a lot. Steve has been having some unexplainable spells, and I have been cautious about leaving him alone. It just makes me feel better. Also, when one of our loved ones is having unexplained health issues, it does take from one’s energy source. Both of these things have led me to clear my schedule, and I am enjoying being more rooted at home. I have made a lot of progress on editing my manuscript, though the project is just barely underway. It feels good, and strangely, I find classic Black Sabbath really pleasant to work to. I have done some yoga on my mat at home, and I have slowed down in general. It became clear to me that this is what the season was asking of me; to slow down, and to be gentle with myself. I am getting better at listening to my body and my mind, and I am feeling good. I cannot always meet the world that is wanting from me, sometimes I need to just ignore it all, and be in the moment and the natural flow of what is Moon.

I am wanting reclaim the name Moon, and being Moon represents some really wonderful things that I feel ready to return to. Moon does not wear a bra, Moon is happy to be a curvy goddess, Moon sits in the woods, and wanders down the road with no agenda, slowly taking in the day. Moon reads tarot, and is very in tune with her inner nature, as well as the nature of Earth. Moon has a sense of who she is within her mental illness, and is successful at reframing this as strength and wisdom. Moon does not have big goals or needs, and manages to flow naturally around the things in life that we must do; cleaning, dealing with family, and maintaining healthy habits. Moon just is.

So, I am happy to be Moon, and to reflect what light is coming my way this winter. The moon was what I would stare into, when I was a teenager developing a sense of spirituality. This practice helped me develop a sense of who I was. All throughout my life, I would stare up at the moon and feel a sense of God. The God or Goddess that is deep within, and feels stirred and awakened by the soft glow of an orb that is so far away, and yet feels so close. Perhaps that is what it is like rooting around in ourselves to find our center. It guides us like the moon, and still can be thousands of miles away at our core. We must soften like the gentle light of the moon, in order to feel that inner seed or spark of identity and self-love. So be it big and round, or a far off light that I am just learning to grasp, the moon provides an endless metaphor, and is also a very real vestibule of hope and light in my life.