This morning the land was covered in snow and it was a true winter wonderland. Snow decorated every tree branch, fence wire, and blade of grass. As the sun shines on it and it melts away, I feel a thawing in my heart as well. I have needed a beautiful sunny day and the brightness reflected on the white blankets of snow makes the world even more uplifted. Despite this glow, my knees ache and a sadness lingers on the edges of my being. It has been a long dark winter and I am craving warmer days whence I can jump in the pond and lay in the grass. The robins and many birds are reminding me that spring is near, and I feel hopeful today.

I spent the morning singing songs to a couple of toddlers and several adults at the Parent Tot program at Grace Church. This filled me as well. I sang joyously and energetically all the while convincing myself that I still have what it takes to be on top of the world. My whole family was there and it was precious. My little niece loved the songs and stuffed animals, and we all laughed and smiled as she learned the simple dance moves and ran around the hall. I feel forever blessed with my family being close to me in this life, and I can feel there support whenever they are near. How lucky I am, how blessed. This is what I keep reminding myself as the evenings still are long and dark. I have so much to be grateful for. I am strong and healthy, I am blessed with family, I have a roof over my head and food to eat. I have many talents and friends. There is so much goodness in my life to revel in and it is not hard to pull myself back from feeling sorrow and move to a place of gratitude. 

As the frozen wonderland evolves out my window, I rest inside with my thoughts and I process. I process feelings of joy and of sorrow. I process all that I have learned in this lifetime. It is important for me to mourn the experiences I have been through that have been difficult or heartbreaking. It is also important for me to honor all that I have learned and become through the process of living. I am healing, I am learning, I am accepting, I am grieving. As I become close and intimate through a couple of different gatherings of community with a few other people, I learn that they have struggles in their lives as well. It is important for me to hear their stories. I want to know and lend a listening ear. I also grow through the experience of intimacy as well as through sharing of my own. I walk away feeling akin to others and with perspective on my own life. I also have a few good books that keep me grounded. The Power of Now has been useful to me these last few days and I study it with a group every week. We learn when we share our stories. Thank you to you, the reader, for bringing to light my words as they enter you eyes and hearts.