Alone, lost and floating, I drift among the stars searching for ripostes. I know that I am not alone, God is with me, yet I drift and search still. I do not know all of the answers.

When will you meet me there, among the void, when will I know that I have arrived? I heard God’s voice the other day. He spoke and said, “When you reach the top, you will know....” Interesting, have I been scouring the side of a tall and angry mountain for years on end? What is it that I must know, for what have I been longing to see? Looking at the big picture, I can agree with this. Many of us spend our lifetimes climbing a great mountain, hoping that the top is just around the bend.

Self-doubt, illusion, despair, feeling lost, anxious, benign have all been with me as I scramble the cliffs and walk the miles up-hill. I do not believe that if I learn to shut my mind off and go Zen that this mountain will disappear. Buddha believed that life was suffering as well. As I encounter these dark caves that live on the side of my mountain, I go in and explore. Sometimes I indulge the feeling for too long, but often emerge and know more as I move along to the next. The Mountain is my journey and I may never reach the top, though God has assured me that when I do get there I will know. Perhaps he is not only acknowledging my long pursuit up the slope, but has promised me that there is an end to my struggle.

I love my mountain. Putting miles behind me and feet below me, I would exchange my journey for no other. We are all sent to this life to learn, and the greater the mountain, the more one can accomplish while thick in the stuff that matters in life. As I publish another page for my Blog, I ask myself, would I have had it any other way? Though still clinging to the slopes, I feel blessed to have been granted the opportunity to take this journey. I hope that once I do reach the top, that God will place me beneath another towering precipice and say “Here is another, my friend, happy climbing.”