Body is sore; aches reach between my shoulder blades, an ankle twinges and my quads in my thighs are still sore and beat. I suppose I have been pushing myself in yoga, and today is a day to rest. It is interesting because all winter I have been up at 5 or 6 am with a sharp brain and alert body, whereas since the beginning of spring I have wanted to sleep in and have felt more stress in my body.

I feel good though, proud to be progressing in yoga. It is a challenging practice, and I like to push myself. Steve is always baffled by my need to plan for a day of rest, but I know myself. If I don’t intentionally decide and even state that I will and plan to take a break for a day, I push myself to get out there, go for a hike, for a visit to the track or gym, or have a workout on my yoga mat in my guest room. Everyone needs to rest and I am no exception.

I suppose I am proud that I have trained myself to be so diligent. The only real limit I have is often my bipolar disorder. Sometimes chemicals get stirred up in one’s body do to exercise, and I feel mine is sensitive to the effects of these acids and chemicals, and takes a bit longer to recover. Stress and exhaustion can come from exercise and well as energy, rejuvenation, and relaxation for me. I feel good, and am thankful and proud to have a body that can be active. Perhaps the aches and pains of a 35 year old are a bit different than those of an 18 year old.

Another goal I have is to become my own personal chef. I want to cook and prepare Asian, vegan and healthy meals full of vegetables, with spices and rice noodles, creating an imaginative and innovative meal for myself. I love spending time in my home, and want to continue and increase the time I spend cooking, cleaning, reading, painting and writing, all from and within my own walls. It is important to get out, but I feel healthier and more wholesome when I spend time at home. My cats and dogs are happy, and spending time in a place encourages it to feel like your place, a sanctuary, and results in my caring more for my environment.

It is good to have goals and I don’t plan to achieve this overnight. It took almost seven years for exercise to become second nature. There is a point where a habit, a good habit or skill becomes second nature. When it gets to the point where it just feels natural to partake in an activity, like typing, the sense of enjoyment and fulfillment that can enter the moment during the practice seems to elevate for me. I am ever thankful that my work has become this way, walking, yoga, or going to the gym, as well as giving love to and caring for my pets. Perhaps I could also challenge myself to find that enjoyment in activities that I am just beginning and haven’t mastered. As an achiever and slight perfectionist, I can see why it would be easier to enjoy myself once I have mastered a task or skill. It doesn’t have to be that way if I willingly embrace the learning process and perhaps find strength and pride in the fact that I am willing to learn and know that there are all levels of success throughout the many layers of a journey. Perhaps joy can be found in every moment and not simply when we have ‘triumphed’. Perhaps I am a success just as I am, and life can be a victory simple because it and I exist. There are so many things to be grateful for and I am lucky to be able to play a part in this universe.