Unfolding into entropy

My body holds space and time

There are aches that speak

Of deeper stories

My hair silver

Glows with experience

Experiences and trauma

Trauma that is sacred

My mind and spirit

Have many stories

That unfold before me

As I process

Sober I can feel them all

And let them go

I know I am not alone

Yet I am alone

I am insignificant

I know on some level

That nothing matters

As does everything

Everything matters

But my soul’s inner story

Is not unique

Billions of souls

On this spinning planet

In a galaxy that is moving

Through space like an arrow

We all have our pain

We are unique in our pain

But we are not terminally unique

As I age I gain wisdom

I have more to share

And I must not fear the chaos

That is my aging

I hope to embrace it

And also treat my body as sacred

I am a temple to be honored

This temple is tired

And is borderline in so many ways

So there is much to think about

In an attempt to live

As long as I can

I am not afraid to die

But the fear of aging is real

I must live

I must live for my niece and nephew

I must stay strong for my aging partner

I must find health in mind and body

In sobriety I hope to achieve this

I know I can do better

In the chaos

And in the aches and pains

Are messages

I can unfold gracefully

Into the god of my aging

I can respect this process

I am but a vessel

For a complicated soul

As I age I learn

I am so much wiser than I was

So I am grateful for where

I am today in my process

In my fragile life

Sensitivity abounds

And I must listen

Gracefully I accept

Who I am and who I have become

In sobriety I learn to care for myself

I pray that Steve and I find comfort

And patience

Together we unfold

Into the way of our souls

Getting old is sacred

There is a truth behind every ache

The temple that is my body

Has much to say

I remember as I sit in stillness

A good and full life

I can be at peace

Today and in every moment