Recently, I gave an eagle feather that I found on the land to my father. I also gifted a beautiful flicker feather to a young sensitive woman that I know. I know that these feathers hold healing and medicine. In the giving of the feathers, the sacrifice of giving what was mine, the magic and medicine grows. True giving entails a sacrifice. If we are gifting something to someone because we don’t want it anymore, the gift does not always land with intention. When we give of something that we hold dear, and it is a sacrifice of some kind, the gift holds an energy, and it can do so much more good than if what we gave had no meaning to us essentially.

Another indigenous theory that I find very healing to me, it that of the spirit bead. I heard long ago, when I was a child, looking at some bead work from indigenous orientation, a mistake; a bead of the wrong color. This entranced me as a child, because I was a perfectionist by age five, and I wondered why anybody would intentionally make a mistake or an error. But the lesson held true. Someone explained to me that this was intentional and that it was a sacred practice of indigenous people, or in the eighties what we referred to as native americans. My young perfectionist mind devoured this concept as it brought healing to me even then.

Today, when I publish my blog, and there is a small mistake in my writing, I try to let it go. “This is how the spirit gets in”, I tell myself. It is in the mistakes that people often learn to relate and feel compassion for themselves and others. It is why as mental health consumers, and addicts and alcoholics, we are able to spread healing and insight through our recovery. Essentially we are healers and medicine people that have been given an enormous gift.

In my painting and studies as an artist, I learned and practiced this as well. Often, when we over work a piece of art it takes the essential and raw beauty out of the painting. As creators, we should not be trying to achieve perfect. Reality is healing in its true form, and as people and artists, if we strive for perfection, we are doing more harm that good. Often it is in the paintings that I think are ugly or undone, that years later I find much meaning in. Somehow, we must mirror back to ourselves through our art, acceptance for all that we are, ugly, undone, and in pain. In the pain, in the mark we make, in the raw and unperfected beauty of every stroke, we are communicating.

When we work with children, we shouldn’t constantly say “Good job”. Over time, this builds an expectation for them to be good and perfect. The right thing to do is reflect back the reality that they are presenting such as: “You just went down the slide, wee!” Or,  “You have been working on that drawing for a long time, you must be very interested in drawing right now.” This simple reflection of reality does not present an expectation to the child, a worshipping of the word good which then ultimately can mean perfect, but rather puts them in reality, and they know they are witnessed and noticed for doing exactly what they are doing. It is grounding and intentional. It helps them build the skill of self-reflection and a solid sense of their person that is not dependent on hearing the words “Good job”. This is a common approach to teaching young children these days, and a healthy model to follow.

Whether it is in the teaching of your children, your writing, or your art, allow space in reality to let the spirit flow through. Allow the concept of the spirit bead gently into your life. Reality may seem too flawed, but there is healing in accepting it right where it is, flaws and all. We connect as a people around these flaws. Alcoholics, addicts, and mentally ill people have so much to share and teach in their truth, a truth that looks far from perfect on the outside. But it has meaning. Our lives have meaning and much to teach a world that worships perfectionism, the ego, and achievement. Allow the crack in the glass to live there. Perhaps then the light will be able to shine through.