“Right view, right attitude, is that before or while we observe, we inject into the mind the understanding that “this is nature.” We tell ourselves, “This is the nature of aversion. We are trying to observe, and recognize, and learn about aversion.” Or we say about craving: “This is the nature of craving that we are trying to observe, and recognize, and learn about." If we bring this mindset to observing, then we will be more objective, and it will allow the mind to learn something about craving and aversion.” -Anonymous

Is this world really full of temptations, sins and cravings that I am trying to avoid? Is this the life that I signed up for or was born into; to spend my life asking forgiveness from myself and God for my errors, and trying to not give into temptations? Trying to be a good person does not always come the most naturally. I truly have to try and practice avoidance. I have to try and not succumb to the craving. Whether it is food, drugs, sex, aversion or mood swings. And sometimes the craving is just too strong.

It is true, however, that the longer I practice abstinence, I also end up in the place where I must sit with and observe the dissonance that resides in my soul. This dissonance is usually what drives the craving, the need to run away, sabotage, and give into the sinful nature that follows me everywhere.

I also believe in the shadow, and that this shadow can guide us and also teach us many things. From our mistakes we can grow, and we can learn so much. But that is the point, isn’t it? That eventually we learn. Observing our cravings and trying to understand what is underneath, while we practice abstinence, we then learn to make a better choice next time. Loyalty, faithfulness, and emotional awareness can all come from practicing observation of the chaos in our minds and emotions, while abstaining, and thus reaching a spiritually mature place within ourselves. 

But I am still human, and I always will be. I want sex, I want good food, and I get pissed off. So, it is a daily journey to better myself. To develop muscle memory and greater discipline. Luckily, I have the twelve steps, and people and literature that help me reflect on humility, losing my pride, replacing self-will with God’s will, and so slowly I am becoming a calmer, safer, smarter, and more genuine and spiritually driven human being.

Doing the right thing is not always fun. Sometimes, we can’t even understand why we are being asked to act from a higher self, because all we can see is what is before us that will make us feel good, and that will satisfy the deep hunger that lives at the epicenter of our being. Do we learn to live with this hunger by stopping and observing ourselves? By putting off the temptation or indulgence? It is easy to let my pride and self-will run the show. To believe that they know what is best. How do I truly trust my intuition when what I “feel” leads to pandemonium? Is it always good to deny my “feelings” or cravings in this way? What is the difference between intuition and craving? Why not indulge and just feel good now? …Because waiting, observing, and letting God make the calls is what will allow for clear sight, right action, inner and outer development, and true selfless being.