I am finding that a lack of perfectionism can actually be confidence building. When we are glued to a perfectionism in our lives, we can become very disgruntled and disappointed when things do not meet this standard. We may even find ourselves constantly triggered into a dissonant state while observing all of the imperfections that are so readily in our lives. There are imperfections everywhere, and very often we feel inadequate. This may lead to a defeatism that keeps us from even attempting to achieve our dreams. In a secret way we know we are doomed to failure before we even begin, because we cannot achieve the unachievable. This leads to a lack of self confidence over time. We are constantly defeated by the laws of nature. So, until we thoroughly commit to an understanding that neither we nor the universe is or will ever be perfect, we cannot grow, nor can we really attempt to achieve anything substantial. This is how it was for me. I now have accepted the chaos of the world. The never ending swirling of humanness in my actions and lack of perfection in my surroundings. All of a sudden the world opens to contain a sense of space. One is able to relax, to accept things the way they are. After this acceptation comes an appreciation, a reverence, and ultimately a sense of confidence in all that is and all that one is working towards. You begin to see the beauty in an unfinished project and the fact that you can learn and improve from any flawed situation. To live for and strive for perfection is a prison that we create in our minds. It is virtually impossible to grow within the confines of the unnatural law of perfection.

My first book, “Glass Slippers: A Journey of Mental Illness”, has some flaws. All projects do. I believe realizing these imperfections and flaws have only allowed me to dive into a deeper appreciation for me, the artist, and the amazing feat that I was able to undertake putting this book out into the world. Creating such a complete work of art has led to the above realizations about perfectionism, and I am growing so much finally letting go of these unreal and crazy making values that I once had. Love is round, it is so soft, and it is meant to fill the gaps of our imperfections. If there were no flaws, there would be no space for the love to penetrate and move through our lives and selves. It is as if the flaws have a divine meaning and purpose, to give us an opportunity to love and grow more. So thank goodness for an imperfect world.