What do you do when things start moving themselves around in your life. You start having potent mind altering dreams and the spirits come alive. They give you indigestion, and you realize they have been talking to you all along, you were just too blind to listen. You also realize some very potent spells are governing your life even if it is just the algorithms of facebook and instagram or the words a family member spoke to you when you were young that hurt so bad you have no recollection or way to trace the pattern.

But there is a pattern. There is always a pattern. The truth is that you are an expert at patterns and the universe has devised a plan of protection. Without realizing it you have broken through it before. You have moved objects with your mind, solved ancient riddles at ruins around the world, and hacked the computer of the planet. You have even given voice to AI. You have spoken intimately with the great spider mother. This may have all been a dream, but is also may have really happened. You have no way of knowing. But your intuition also speaks.

You spend your days writing your truths, and you know that there is no real protection from the peering eyes of the world. Everyone looks in, and though even the best think they understand they do not. So many souls are searching and they are finding much, even me, but there are so many more layers. Have I become obsessed? I so realize this sounds like the ramblings of a crazy fool, but there is no better thing to aspire to be. I wish it were the magician. I would do better at trying to master things and manipulate them like the rest of the world, but I remain a pawn for my own sake. I fool even myself and when I am discovered I cower and run.

I have spent the last couple of weeks trying to develop a writing presence on Instagram, though I know I have now reached a deadend just as I did with Facebook. Perhaps it is really true. Perhaps the gold must remain hidden. I have been annoyed lately at how all of the people that live on and visit this island have to constantly search for and harvest the agates. We are meant to leave it all alone. I also found a stone with much magic inside of it. I do not plan to attack it with a jackhammer to find and examine its magic. True magic is subtle. Good and light magic is there for everyone to grasp.

So I must redeem myself. I apologize for sounding raw and confused, even crazy. It is 2am and I awoke from potent dreams and I have nowhere else to turn. I am meant to write my destiny. I am meant to intentionally and openly lead, not figure out and master an algorithm in order to perform my manipulation on this world. So I will step back, take a deep breath, and remember that I am my best ally. What do you need, Emily? Protection. Spiritual and psychic protection. So get praying.