Oh, all of the excitement. Lately, with an increase in medication, I have been able to take a three day trip to Olympia for President’s Day Lobbying and to visit my Great Aunt who is 95 as well as second cousins in Bellevue, WA. I came home, and though was unwell with a debilitating moon time for several days, I recovered in time to read from my recent book, Glass Slippers: A Journey of Mental Illness at the annual Women’s Coffee House here on Lopez, where I was well received and endured much praise and a standing ovation for my writing. I then soon headed down to Seattle for a couple of days to visit with old friends and attend Shovels and Rope, a concert at the Triple Door in downtown for my twentieth anniversary. So much excitement, and now I am returning home, slightly exhausted, to revel in my sweet life and try to revisit my routines. My routines lately consist of meditation, walking, journaling, Tarot, and time with family and my sweet niece who will be three this month. There is this sense that I am working with a bare canvas, having been absent from my life for two weeks, and now I can put together an intentional life with what feels just right.

The sky is overcast, and last night, though it was illuminated with a bright moon, a sliver was missing from its recent fullness. Spring is just around the corner and there is evidence of this with the colorful branches on trees and their small buds. I am entering my two month required sabbatical, which I newly have decided to enforce, because March and April are when I am most likely to “Vision Quest”. It is not that discipline is out the window, but I will be choosing ease in each precious moment, while holding the present, and allowing for flexibility and spontaneity in my free and unscheduled life. These months are about my emerging book taking an organic form as is presents itself to the world, and reflecting deeply on my healing process. It is about self acceptance and deep nurturing of my inner being. I will be drinking tea and watching so very closely as this world emerges from her winter slumber. I will allow for my sensitivities  to unfold and will create healing balance in my life so as not to become off center, psychotic or symptomatic. Recently my medication has been working excellently, so I do not foresee any real issues, but I am still here underneath the medicine, and I know my delicate being craves healing and is prone to visioning this time of year. Learning to accept my “different-ability” is very much about learning to embrace my creative and psychically sensitive gifts. These I believe can exist healthily underneath proper medication. I can still do my work, and take journeys profound and deep. I wish to allow space for this healing and these insights, this “Vision Questing” to occur. I am hoping to reprogram my illness into become a gift that helps me rather than hinders me.

Steve is doing the dishes and music is playing. We have had our coffee, walked the dogs about the property and I have done my daily routine and journaled for several pages. It is now time to let this day unfold in its true organic nature. I do not always know what to expect. But I wish to stay home and stay close to God, while culling into existence my innate natural and sensitive healing. All I have to do is align to Nature’s beautiful programing. If I listen, I am innately intelligent and I will access the answers that are deep inside of me. They will guide me to an aware place. A place where I can nurture and heal myself as well as learn more about my creativity and my gift.