The sun is shining and the grass is growing, pushing out from its sleep toward the sky this mid-February morning. It is obvious now that we are moving toward the light and we have had three days of sun in a row. Still chilly, my body has not awoken from its sleep, and calmness and meditation still feel natural. Aside from this, there is much excitement in my world. My book is on the verge of being available for sale and I have had the pleasure of holding a printed copy in my hands and have gifted just a few copies to my family members. I am having posters printed and will be hanging them later this week when the bookshop has my book on their shelves. Amazon has been ready to carry them but has been strangely out of stock for the last two weeks, so I hope they have ordered some and it will be available there as well soon. So, it is an early spring birth, and my life will very much be filled with readings and talking to people about it over the next few months. I am so grateful.

There is a release that is happening in my mind and body. I have been fearful and grieving the fact that I have not made much of myself in this life. No children, no property ownership, no career or degree. But as the words from my book pour from my lips and fill my mind, I see that I really have accomplished so much. It is not just the fact that I have a book now, though that is substantial. It is the meaning in the words I have written. There is wisdom there and I am sharing it. I have developed a backbone and a well of knowledge about life in general dealing with the hardships of surviving with a mental illness. The meaning is clear in the words I have written. I am also so very thankful for and proud of my marriage, and this spring marks our twentieth year together. As I talk about my life in these 250 plus pages, I can see so much substance to my life and I am glad to be me.

Another thing I am very proud of and feel warmth in my heart about is the closeness I feel for both my parents and my sister as well as my brother and law and their two children. Even my brother and law’s family who we spent thanksgiving with this year has a warm place in my heart. Family has become so important and such a staple to my daily existence. Almost every day I see and talk to my parents on this property or over at my mother’s house, be it coffee in the morning, dinner in the evening, or just outside swimming in the pond, walking or working. This month I get to travel with my dad down to Olympia and do some lobbying at the capitol and we will visit my great aunt who is well into her nineties and still living at home. I hope also to go with my family in April to the Pacific Northwest Quaker Quarterly meeting in Ellensberg. My sister and niece and mom and dad will all drive over there together. I am aware that such close relations and such positive relations with one’s immediate family is rare and special in my culture, at least among my demographic.

Currently I am fine tuning my medication once again, it has been a process since last June when I started this new medicine. After I am fully adjusted, I hope to resume working at the Library. I like to be involved with our community here on Lopez Island. This last Saturday I got to go dancing with a friend and see a local cajun band and it is fun to have so many people in one room who you feel are friendly acquaintances. Lopez is special and I am so lucky I have this community in which to release my book to and share my work with. I have been practicing for the Women’s Coffee House, a yearly event, as I have an emotional piece to read, but I expect to be warmly embraced by the women of Lopez.

The sky is clear today and I expect to have a full and meaningful day here living my life cradled in the Puget Sound, nested between the Strait of Juan de Fuca, Vancouver Island, the Olympic Peninsula and the main land. I know that there are many places less populated in the world, but it feels sometimes we are one the edge of the earth out here. The birds are awakening and returning and it will be a matter of days before I see some daffodil blooms, which will truly mark our transition into spring. I am grateful for my doctor and to be properly medicated as we journey through this portal from slumber to joy, this Spring, and I am so grateful for my community and family both of which are dear to my heart. Bless you today, may you soak in the sun, wherever you are, for it is always there whether we can see it or not.