We strive in our lives for happiness, this is true for most of us. But what if Utopia, the utopia that we think we desire comes at great cost to others and our world, animals, nature, and even other human beings? I think we all know that this is partly true for the lives we live in western society. We have all heard that it would take several planets for the whole human race to flush a toilet once in a day. We know that being meat eaters animals must die and even suffer on our behalf. To survive on a living wage we rely on products and cars that are made by people who do not make a living wage. Sometimes we choose to not give to charity, give spare change to the street person, or even help a friend in order to preserve our happiness, way of life, our utopia.

Dystopia is another way to perceive the world. In science fiction and literature we are presented with many ways our culture and society will fail, come to its demise and ultimately become a dystopia due to our ignorance or greed. Could it be true that dystopias are actually more functional than utopias because they wear their dysfunction out on the surface, rather that hiding the many facets underneath, that are making their perfect world a perfect place? This concept came to me recently in the thought of my struggles with schizoaffective disorder. I have been suffering with symptoms, feelings of being overwhelmed, tired, exhausted, paralyzed, intoxicated or simply like I am walking and existing in wet cement. Everything is difficult. It was and has been pure dystopia. But I can draw deep meaning from these experiences. They say that depression is key to understanding our greater purpose and getting in touch with ourselves. Now, I may have been guilty of building my own utopia at times, but still I know that in these moments of suffering I am doing no harm to others and the world.

It is possible that a dystopian outlook may be more healthy for our world than a utopian outlook. We may become better at spotting our mistakes, we may take more responsibility for our actions. I think many will tell you they feel very connected to something as they resonate with a dark painting. It is just more truthful. We are here in this world to work in service and to suffer, not to just be happy, let’s be honest. Utopia is a lofty and unachievable goal for most, and if it is achievable for a certain few, it is upon the backs of many sufferers underneath. Buddha says the key to enlightenment is through our suffering, Christians say we all sin, and I know this hurts. Many many bad things happen to all kinds of people every day. Isn’t this just the basic nature of the planet? Perhaps in accepting that life isn’t and never will be perfect we can finally see the truth and become free. I know that I may never be free from my mental disability which means that I have in store for me much more suffering beyond what have already endured. It would be true though that if I thought I could achieve a life without this suffering, this pain, I would be disillusioned and that would cause more pain. I still think we should fight for what is good, but we may need to accept that there just is and will always be something bad. Bringing awareness to these dystopian concepts gives us the upper hand in combatting them. I suppose this freed me a little when I realized this. I may never be truly happy or at peace, but in realizing this I am able to achieve it all the more. Because I can accept and honor the pain that is really there, in bright form.

When I became a christian I accepted that there is evil in the world. I accepted the concept of evil and darkness. This resulted in the good being even more good and the light being ever brighter. But do we really want a world where there is no evil? I am just saying, perhaps there is a flaw to this utopian ideology. Maybe we need the dreadful to open our eyes. Maybe we need pain so that when we feel relief it is true comfort. Maybe we need death so that we can live our lives more fully.