Good Morning. We are sick around this house. I see this as an opportunity for getting in touch. I haven’t been this sick in a really long time. But there is something about being sick that makes you reflect about what is important in life. I have been processing why my book is going so slow and I have been remembering my white privilege even though I am a disabled mental health patient at this point in my life.

The music is floating around me and I am sitting with a morning cup of coffee, congested as all get out. Sleep was interrupted and I ran a fever in the wee morning hours. But I am so grateful. Could life be any better? I have shelter, I have love, I am fed and entertained even. I am not alone, and life, the island around me is oh so beautiful.

I got to hang out with my niece twice this week and I am in love. Anxiety and worry come with being sick, and all I have to do is think of her little face, her sweet personality, and I am grounded once again. I have a new mission to spend as much time with her as possible even though working with a two and a half year old is exhausting. I don’t care, because I call on her, and like an angel she lifts my spirits. 

I think with all that is going on in the world I am having to really settle in with the grief that I carry and embody my humbleness. I feel like I am bothered by busy, achieving people, I just want to listen to soft music and realize those moments, those lessons, that bring us back to our roots. I need God, I need Silence, and I am finding that I am having to give this to myself. There is no-one I can call, there is no easy bandaid. I had a lot of fun this summer, but as we head into Fall, I am learning again what is important. Everything is so impermanent, as am I. This moment is all I have. “How are you living?” Why am I disturbed, filled with worry, I need to exchange that for a deep deep sense of gratitude and service to the world. I am here to help people, change lives, do what I can.

I am humbled by my illness. I am humbled by my fortunate situation. And I am grateful for all of it. May our hearts be filled, may we realize deeply our purpose in this life. And if this involves shedding tears, calling out to God, yelling or screaming so be it. We are here to pay attention to these deeper things in our minds and bodies. So live fully, and ask yourself that question, “How you living?”