I am on my knees. Answers are abundant and I feel so held in the presence of God. Peace comes to me every day and the strength to push forward and move through whatever is put in my path in order to transcend beyond my plight. I wake up, walk the dogs, and I get on my bike. I shower and feed myself, visit with friends and continue to inhabit the consciousness of love.

I prayed the other afternoon. I was so exhausted and filled with a symptomatic anxiety that has been with me for the better part of a week. Two answers came to me. That I would see forty years of miracles and that my job and purpose in life, now that I have left my job and am emerging from a psychotic break, is to exist in the consciousness of love. Later I realized that when we do God’s work, when we move through our lives in the consciousness of love, that we work at creating miracles in our own and others daily lives. It is the listening, the compassion, the spreading of the consciousness of love that creates true miracles. When I realized this, knowing that I am not capable of moving to India to start a ministry, or to head down to Bethel Church in California to train in ministry, and yet still have the desire to truly do God’s work, I was greatly relieved. I know that I can do God’s work every day. It is me that will be creating miracles for the next forty years of my life, and I will be doing this by remaining in God, in the consciousness of love. God answered my prayer with two very important statements, which I then later put together. The two things have been woven together to make perfect sense and have given me great purpose. I am 40 years of miracles. I create them. God is in me and I am the consciousness of God; of love. All I need to do is pray every day and keep Faith. I have Faith that God will place me in the path of many miracles to come and for this I am eternally grateful.

With all of the difficulties that have come into my life these past couple of months, so has come amazing revelation and a new found faith in myself and love. I hope to spread peace within the world through my simple life and I have Faith that I will be successful in doing this. God has told me this and I believe it.