When the birds chirp in the morning I feel solitude. Happiness and love for my little country town. I arrived in 2007 after a quite virulent psychotic break. It wasn’t the easiest transition, but 9 years later I find myself going through a similar experience. I am plagued with spells of anger and sadness. I become paralyzed and scared, I cry, I throw things out the window. I fight with my husband and scare my mom. It is not easy.

This morning I feel I am finally arriving from a long and tenuous dream. I feel that I rode with the entire planet on a wave, so clear, sad and devastating… but we made it. I was never alone; I have god, spirits, and friends guiding me every step of the way.

Now, after a month of being incapacitated, I have rearranged my house more than several times, I have played about 300 CDs, I have ruined my computer, and I have hijacked a record player from the farm house. I have no job, and may not even have one this summer. But I am free to explore this transition into Crone the best I can. I desire to be alone, and study, read, write and paint. I am in love and everything is okay. I have enough money, family, music, time and I have Steve. I love my animals with all my heart, and though they were with me through this whole journey…. We have all come out okay.

Bless my community, my family and friends, and bless the Lord above for survival. It is all we really have.