My hands have grown, matured. I can see my age, experiences had, I am a woman, no longer a child or a young smooth and light teenager full of angst, hormones and excitement that comes with an awakening body and endless possibilities ahead. I feel I still have this though. Possibilities swimming around me and this life in a way that feels like a new birth, here now as a new woman, healed and knowing, waiting to see what will happen next.

I feel good about leaving this place. It is a wonderful community. Warm and welcome, fresh with beauteous nature filled with smiles and connections around every corner. Yet I am thrilled to move out into a world where there are people I don’t know and places that I haven’t discovered yet. The idea of a move brings me back to a time where we would move regularly. We have been here seven years now, yet I am not quite ready to settle down. I will return to this place, and I may even stay and work on Lopez a couple of days a week, yet it is good to know that the world is grand, and my spirit craves the unknown, a frontier awaiting this pioneer headed west.

Will there be someone that needs to meet me? A place where I can settle into and become knowingly anonymous, recognized, yet not approached yet? I will always have Lopez to return to or my home with my partner of 16 years, dogs, cats, and friendly environment we call home. We can make this home anywhere because we have each other. I spoke to my therapist questioning my mental health and ability to live successfully out in the world away from this safe a sheltered community and she said she knows I will be fine, the transition hard, yet I am so committed to self-care and love that she feels confident I will not give this up. I feel confidence in this as well. I have a new mission of faith and wellness that feels in my bones solidified and something that would not leave me easily.

Mountains stretch above the curving river flowing over steadfast boulders and breathe their millennium of wisdom and strength to those shrunken by their majesty. The ocean bathes the sand with repetitive language filled with bubbles of thought and frothing awareness of its vastness. Here at the shore, on the edge of its endless beauty and forte, I know the world is ever large and I small and breakable, protected by the earth on which I stand at its very shore, just glimpsing with menial awareness its depths and layers. Though shrinking at a fast and strenuous rate, the forest still covers the earthen rock and floor, sheltering life of wolves, bears and deer dancing and playing in a world again that I do not know. I travel within its branches and walk beneath the rich odors and colors, basking in filtered green light making its way down through a protective canopy to me, again, a small creature dwarfed by the forest’s stateliness, splendor and magnificence teeming with life on a scale small and large that fills my simple mind with wonder.

Worlds of wonder, all there for me to explore, the oceans, forests and mountains, people, cafés, restaurants, roads, rivers and corners in a world swarming with life varied, rich, diverse, and again, unknown. I spent my time slowing down, caring for my skin, bones and mind, and now a journey beyond the shelter of the shores of a small Island nested in the calm Puget Sound awaits this body. What anticipates me I do not know; I will improvise, soak it in, find a way, observe and serve my world wherever I go. Thank you, Lord for giving me this peace and opportunity.